The Aftermath

February 17, 2012- Friday

I know this post as been long anticipated.  I appreciate all the texts, emails, phone calls, etc.  I apologize for not getting to this sooner, but this week has been jam packed full of visits to the pediatrician, ENT, meetings at the school, legal advice, etc all in addition to our regular jobs.  I really feel like we've been put in the washing machine on spin cycle and just got out.

Monday night shortly after my blog post, we sat down for dinner.  At dinner Ryder started crying that his ear was hurting.  And not just whining but that 'I'm in serious pain, earth shattering cry' that kids do.  I looked into his ear to see a very dark thick blood pooling up into his ear and starting to ooze out.  Joe and I immediately packed up and headed to the ER.  Upon evaluation, we were told that Ryder had punctured his ear drum.  The ER Dr asked me if I wanted to see and had me look inside Ryder's ear.  It was bruised all along the inside and covered with little scrapes.  The ear drum clearly had a little whole in it but luckily his tube was still in place.  The ER Dr put Ryder on antibiotic ear drops and told us we should follow up with his ENT in the next couple of days.  He cleaned the blood out of Ryder's ear and sent us home.

Cleaning blood out of the ear in the ER

Ryder's ear the morning after the incident

On Tuesday, we spoke to the Director of the school and told her we needed to schedule a meeting with both her and the Lead Teacher in Ryder's class.  We decided we would meet with them on Thursday to allow Joe and I enough time to do the doctor's visits and plan how we wanted to move forward with this.  Joe called a lawyer to get advice on how we should handle this situation.  We received great advice on how to proceed with his school.

On Wednesday, Joe took Ryder to the ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat Dr) for a hearing test and follow up.  After the evaluation, it was determined that Ryder does have some hearing loss in his left ear.  The ear drum is punctured and we aren't able to tell at this time the extent of the damage.  What he could tell us, is that Ryder's ear drum is NOT functioning properly.  We will follow up in a month with the ENT.  The ear will either heal itself or it will need to be repaired and Ryder will require surgery to fix it.  In the meantime, he will continue on the ear drop antibiotics. He is not to get any water in his ear or any sharp wooden sticks.

On Thursday we had our meeting with the Director at school.  Joe and I were very well prepared.  We spent most of Wednesday night outlining what we wanted to tell them and what questions we wanted to ask.  We were advised to get as much information as possible and not accuse them of anything so that we could get them to give us the most information about the situation.  We also brought a voice recorder to the meeting and recorded the conversation. We sat down face to face with the Director and the Lead Teacher. We thanked them for meeting with us and directed our first question to the Teacher.  Joe started, "At this point we are still very unclear about what exactly happened in the classroom on Monday."  She looked us square in the eyes and said, "Honestly, I don't know.  I didn't see it."  My jaw was on the floor.  Literally.  We probed more about the timeline of the incident.  It turns out that Ryder did in fact poke someone with the "stick" first in the arm.  I immediately asked, "Was Ryder removed from the activity?"  She responded, "No."  "And was any teacher sitting with the kids while they did this activity?" The answer again was "NO".  The Director jumped in to start telling us that the "sticks" have been removed from the class and teachers are receiving training on how to better position themselves in the classroom to better supervise, etc.  I told her that was all great and I'm so happy to see that they are taking action.  However, in light of what you have told us, this incident COULD have and SHOULD have been avoided.  In my opinion those "sticks" should NOT be used in a classroom with 3 year olds.  Additionally, If Ryder was not using the "stick" properly, he should have been removed from the activity.  It's so frustrating to hear how this has all happened.  We then discussed the emotional state of the teacher in the classroom.  We explained our frustrations- that we were unable to find out before my arrival what truly had happened because the Teacher was so upset she couldn't communicate with me.  At the end of all of our discussions, we still had not heard an apology from the Teacher.  The Director apologized, which was nice, but we really needed to hear it from the teacher.  It was her job to watch our child and keep him safe and at the very least, we needed to hear her say she was sorry.  Joe, gotta love him, looks her straight in the eye and tells her just that.  He said, "To this point you have yet to apologize for neglecting to properly watch and care for our son and your part in this"  She began to cry and said, "They told me not to get emotional.  I am sorry.  I truly adore Ryder and I'm so sorry this happened.  Its been eating me up, I'm not sleeping well, etc."  We thanked her for her apology.  We ended the meeting telling them both that in light of what has happened we don't feel safe with Ryder in her care.  We requested an immediate transfer to another class while we determine if Ryder will continue at the school.

Today I was enlightened with the final pieces of the puzzle.  2 weeks ago a teacher from Ryder's class quit.
She gave a few parents her contact info to keep in touch.  She had been texting me during the week and today we finally were able to speak.  I asked her what the real reason was she left.  She was forthcoming in telling me that she was exhausted.  She felt like she was fighting a losing battle with the other teacher.  She explained that the other teacher didn't do much with the kids, didn't properly supervise them, allowed the kids to name call, and just couldn't get control of the class.  It was all starting to click.  I told her what happened and she was shocked.  She also told me that 4 other kids had transferred out of that particular class. She said that Ryder's class is labeled by all the other teachers as the "class with no control".  I told her what room we were being transferred to and she said it's a great room, very structured, and she felt Ryder would do really well there.

We toured the new classroom and formally met his new teacher today.  Although, we already know her just from going to school there.  Our plan is to keep Ryder in the new class while we look at other schools and determine when and where to transfer him.  The last thing we want to do is hastily decide to pull him out and push him into another school that could be worse.  Ryder is really excited about his new class and we are really excited to see Ryder return to a more structured class and change some of this new found behavior that he has picked up in the last couple of weeks.

Beyond Pissed...

February 13, 2012- Monday

Just as I was getting ready to pick Ryder up from school today, I received a call from his school.  I was in the bathroom and missed the call. I listened to the voicemail to discover that "Ryder had poked himself in the ear with something..."  As I was calling the school, the school called Joe.  Ryder's teacher told Joe that Ryder had poked himself in the ear with something and was bleeding and he needed to be picked up.  I took the phone and asked, "how bad?"  It was 4:45pm and the dr.'s office closed at 5pm.  I was trying to figure out if I should call the dr on my way to pick him up.  She said, "It's bleeding and because of his ear issues, I'm concerned."  I decided I would wait to evaluate myself and if need be I'd take him to the ER on our way home.

When I arrived at school, Ryder was sitting at a table playing with play-do.  I asked him, "What happened to your ear?"  He responded, "Kimmy poked me in the ear."  His teacher chimes in, "Ryder did it to her and she did it back."  (Had to bite my tongue here, she sounded like a 3 year old with that response.)  I turned to his other teacher who was in the back of the room bawling, not crying, but bawling.  I asked if she was okay?  She said yes and since she was the one who called me, I began to ask her some questions.  "What did he get poked in the ear with?"

Through her tears, she opened the cabinet and pulled out the "stick"  My jaw dropped to the floor and my mind was racing.  His ear was coated with blood on the inside  but he wasn't crying and seemed to be unphased.  I asked her which end was put in his ear?  She didn't know.  She didn't see it.  WHAT?  First of all, WHO lets 3 year olds play with these?  And 2nd how could you not see what happened?  I grab Ryder and say let's go!  The director attempts to speak to me on the way out and I respond... I don't have time to talk to you right now, I'm racing the clock to get on the phone with his Dr.  I get to the car and call his ENT.  Based on Ryder hearing okay and the evaluation that the ear is not currently bleeding, Ryder can be seen tomorrow, unless things drastically change tonight.  But needless to say, I'm beyond pissed!  He's home playing and happy as can be.  But its not the fact that he wasn't seriously hurt, its the fact that I feel his teacher lied to me.  She told me RYDER did it to himself.  Why were these kids playing with these "pokers/sticks" without being supervised?  The Director called me a few minutes ago, we discussed the incident and I have a meeting tomorrow with the her tomorrow and boy do I have a lot to say!

21 week ultrasound

February 10, 2012 (21w4d)

Another great visit with the specialist today!  Went in for another growth scan to measure our beautiful girls.  Nova (aka Baby A) is measuring 14oz and Bria (Baby B) is measuring 15oz.  When you look at their weights in grams, they are still 16% difference in size.  This is really good news since the size discordance has not changed.  The next 6 weeks will be filled with 3 additional growth scans.  I never get tired of seeing my precious little girls.

21w4d spinal view

In addition to their growth at each of these visits, they measure the fluid in each amniotic sac as well as their blood flow to and from the placenta.  Both babies were within normal limits in these areas, which is also reassuring.  After all of this, the doctors check my cervix to make sure it is strong enough to keep both of these babies in.  This is definitely NOT a fun experience.  For those of you that don't know what this entails (Warning: TMI coming) they check your cervix by transvaginal ultrasound.  First they measure the length of your cervix and then another dr comes in and simulates a contraction.  How do you simulate a contraction?  Well, the dr presses down firmly on the top and side of my belly.  He then applies pressure while another measurement is taken.  This pressure shows them how my cervix reacts when my uterus is compressed as it would during a contraction.  My Dr announced, "Wow, your cervix is like Fort Knox!"  Apparently its long and closed shut!  Sorry about the TMI, but we celebrate the little things.. or should I say the LONG things around here! lol

It was also fun to see how they are positioned.  Bria is positioned transverse across the top of my belly with her head on my left side and her feet out to the right. (Yep that means I've got a head in one rib cage and feet in the other. Nova has her head just below Bria's with her feet kicking down on my cervix.  They both are moving a lot now and it doesn't seem like they rest at the same times, someone is ALWAYS moving around in there.  I wouldn't change that for anything, feeling them move is by far my favorite part of being pregnant!!

Birthday Get-A-Way

February 5, 2012

Traditionally, my birthday has ALWAYS been a holiday we tend to travel for.  And with the great FEBRUARY weather in California, we'd be crazy not to!  This year, we felt it especially important to get away.  This will most likely be our last "couples" trip before the twins arrive.  We are very lucky to have Uncle Andy stay at our house with Ryder while we took our weekend trip!!

Sparkling Cider Greeting

We left on Friday after we dropped Ryder off at school.  We headed up the North Coast to Bodega Bay.  Neither of us have ever been here before but really just wanted a peaceful and relaxing weekend.  When we arrived at the Bodega Bay Lodge & Spa, we instantly knew it was EXACTLY what we were hoping for.  It's a lodge type setting overlooking the Ocean.   I walked in and didn't think we'd even need to leave the room!  Our room was tucked off to the side with an ocean view, fireplace, tub, and a bottle of sparkling cider and chocolates to Welcome us to Bodega Bay.

We checked into our room and the weather was UNBELIEVABLE!  It was sunny and warm, roughly 70 degrees.  We loved the few and spent a bunch of time just enjoying the sun and hanging on the patio.  It didn't take long before we were HOT, and I used it as a great opportunity to give the girls some good ole fashion Vitamin D.  We sat out there for an hour and just watching the waves and talking.  Its moments like these that we don't catch much of when we are at home trying to keep up with a 2.5 year old!  We took it all in and had to start laughing when our conversation quickly turned to, "I wonder what Ryder is doing?"  Only gone a few hours and already missing our little man!

Catching a little sunshine for the girls in Bodega Bay

Later that night, we had reservations at the Bodega Bay Lodge's restaurant, The Duck Club.  It was a quaint little restaurant overlooking the ocean.  It couldn't have held more than 60 people max.  The food was amazing!  After dinner, we head back to our room and enjoyed our fireplace and cider!

Cheers to Birthdays and Babies

Lovin' the fire

Love of my life :)

On Saturday, we woke up and decided to go drive the coast and check out the beaches!  Joe had given me a new lens for my camera and I was dying to test it out!!!  So we decided today would be about viewing the beautiful beaches and taking some pictures!  I have to say that the coast was UNBELIEVABLE!!!   We saw some great sights and enjoyed some beautiful weather.

 After our day out exploring the beaches, we went home and enjoyed a nice long nap and a bath!  It was the perfect day!  After relaxing in our room for awhile, we decided we would go down to Bodega Head and try to catch the sunset!  It was the most BEAUTIFUL sunset, I've EVER seen!!!

After the sunset, we grabbed dinner and settled back to our room for a movie.  One of my favorite parts of the trip, was as we were laying there, Joe felt the babies move for the first time!  He was kind of shocked to feel that thump!  It was cute!!!
Sunday morning, my actual birthday, the big 3-1, we woke up and headed down to our newly discovered favorite coffee shop, Coffee Cove!  This coffee shop might just be the CUTEST little coffee shop I've ever been too.  It is family owned and the wife bakes in the shop and sells her "baked delights" to the customers.  We were so impressed by her shop that we had to come back for "Birthday Treats".  This woman was so delighted over our order: 2 mocha's, 2 bagels, 2 cinnamon rolls, 2 lemon cakes, 2 chocolate chip cookies, and 1 macaroon.  She asked, "Are you serious?"

We took our treats back to our room for a little feast and R&R until check out time!  Joe spent some time reading his new books from Christmas and I edited photos, blogged and wrote in the kids' journals. Once we hit check out time, we loaded up and headed down to the beach for our last walk on the beach.  It was a great, great trip!  Here's a few more pics of our last day:

Home with my handsome boy- a Happy Birthday for sure!

20 weeks pregnant...with an Octopus?

Monday, January 30, 2012

Today officially marks my 20th week of pregnancy!  As exciting as it is to know that I'm more than 1/2 way done, I can't help but think my doctors were wrong.  I think I'm not pregnant with twins, but an octopus!!  Seriously, thats what it feels like.  I'm really not complaining though.  When I was pregnant with Ryder I began feeling him move strong and regularly at 15 weeks.  I felt the girls for the first time at 16 weeks but could only feel them on the sides because of that darn placenta blocking the way.  Well, today I started feeling them EVERYWHERE!!!!  They are on the sides, the front, the top, the bottom... it just amazes me.  If I didn't know I was having twins, I'd be a little concerned.  But since I know its not really an octopus, I'm just enjoying the awesomeness of feeling my girls wiggle and shake!

Anyways, this week has brought a little bit of energy back for me.  I really need to be reminded that just because I start to feel a bit better doesn't mean I should try to tackle the world.  I did 2 high school presentations today and met with 3 potential clients.  After I finished, I was ready to go grocery shopping and pick up Ryder.  Joe took one look at me and insisted on doing the shopping and pick up.  He decided I hit the limit today and picked up the extra so I could rest.   Seriously, is he not the sweetest?  I love the way he looks out for me and his girls.And th

I'm celebrated 20 weeks with a pregnancy massage and it was like a little taste of heaven!  I can't believe what a difference it made for me.  I'm definitely planning to get a few more before these girls come. I also had my regular appointment with my OB this week.  It was pretty standard- urine, blood pressure, listen to the heartbeats, weigh in, and see you in 2 weeks!   I won't see our MFM again until February 10th.  I can't even imagine what it will be like to go 10 days without seeing a dr.  I sometimes feel like the drs office is my home away from home.  I can't wait to see the girls again.  In the meantime, I'm pretty sure they are growing.  We snapped a couple 20 week shots to celebrate the occasion:

20 weeks and growing...