2 Months- Tough Decisions

As is becoming common with life with twins, this post is coming late.  Regardless, I cannot believe the girls are 2 months old!  This month has been very emotional and full of tough decisions.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, feeding is typically our biggest struggle.  Having a rented scale at home has really helped with the process.  I've learned very quickly that Bria had pretty much mastered breastfeeding, while Nova continued to struggle.  Bria would take full feeds from the breast and Nova continued to struggle with .5 oz and always needed a bottle after.  This made it EVEN MORE frustrating.  I have one baby who can breastfeed and the other cannot effectively.  So I continue to breastfeed one, while pumping for the other.  Every day I question how long I can continue on this path.  I start to consider putting Nova 100% on formula and breastfeeding Bria.  I call my lactation consultant (Pat) and tell her my frustrations.  She tells me its time for the 24 hour breastfeeding challenge.  She explains to me that before we goto bed we weigh both girls naked and record their weights.  I would bottle feed the girls through the night and the first morning feed would be from the breast.  From that point on, there would be NO PUMPING and NO BOTTLES... NO MATTER WHAT.  Pat also suggested that I not weigh each girl after feeds and just try to trust it.  I told her that would be virtually impossible for my type A personality.  She said it was ok to do, but not to get disappointed or frustrated and no matter what- NO BOTTLES.  Whenever a baby seems hungry, you put her to the breast.  She prepared me for a tough day ahead and that I would need help.  "You have one job and that's putting the babies to the breast." I went to bed nervous yet excited for the challenge.

When we woke up in the morning we began the challenge.  Joe was instrumental in the process as he kept Nova from melting down while I nursed Bria.  Once I finished with Bria, I took Nova.  (I'm not tandem feeding them because Nova needs too much help and Bria gets upset when Nova is on the boob too... unfortunately, Bria will kick her sister so this just not work well for us.)  Anyways, I literally sat in the recliner all day long while Joe handed me one baby after the other.  During the day, I ended up spending the whole first day in that chair with the exception of 45 minutes where both babies napped.  Other than that it was baby on the boob all day long!  At the end of the day we weighed both girls and called Pat.  Nova had not lost or gained any weight.   Bria gained .5 oz.  Pat said since Nova hadn't lost any weight to go ahead and do the challenge again for the 2nd day.  On the second day, it was pretty much a repeat of the first.  Babies on the boob non stop!  Although this time, Nova began to drink more.  Her best nursing session she drank 2.1 oz!  I was amazed and so very proud of her!  At the end of the day, we weighed the girls.  I was shocked!  Bria had gained 1.5oz and Nova gained 1 oz!!!  I called Pat.  She said, "Congratulations!  You are breastfeeding your girls!  Keep doing it.  On the third day I woke up with a lot of pain in my right breast.  I knew something wasn't right.  I nursed Bria and after I was done, my boob was throbbing and aching.  I tried to nurse Nova and she just cried and cried.  I caved and gave her a bottle.  I ended up at my OB's office to find out I have thrush and inevitably, the girls also have thrush.  We all began treatment and I reverted right back to my pumping and feeding methods.  Breastfeeding the girls is still a priority for me but it continues to be a roller coaster ride for all of us.  It's not perfect but I'm determined to find a way that works for our whole family.  

On the two month birthdate of the girls we are primarily breastfeeding Bria and bottle feeding Nova.  Both girls are supplemented with formula and I've backed off pumping a little bit so that I can spend more time with Ryder and have a better balanced life.  In the meantime, I'll keep trying.  Luckily, I have a great supply that my body seems to regulate well.  So as long as I'm producing, we'll keep trying to work on it until we find the right balance.  

Unrelated to feeding, lets talk a little bit about sleep.  Both girls are now primarily sleeping in their own cribs.  But don't get me wrong, their are times when they end up in bouncy seats and/or the swings.  We do whatever it takes to get sleep but always attempt the crib first.  We have good nights and bad but mostly good nights.  The new trend seems to be that the girls get up twice in the night.  We put them to bed between 7:30-8:00pm and one baby will wake between 1-2am.  We feed that baby and then wake the other to feed as well.  They go back to bed and one will wake between 5-6am for the next feed.  Again, we wake the other and typically feed them individually.  Joe and I take turns doing the middle of the night feedings- he takes one and I take the other.  Most nights the girls are fed individually but their are times where they both wake and we have to prop the bottles to feed them both at the same time.  I definitely prefer the one on one.  It gives us good opportunity for snuggles!  There's just never enough time for snuggles with twins!

Ryder continues to be a great big brother.  The girls have started to smile and Ryder loves that!  He talks and sings to them and constantly tells them they need to stop pooping in diapers and start pooping on the potty.  He's too cute!  He loves to help us push them in their stroller on family walks.  So far, he hasn't shown any jealousy issues but does tell me that "those babies cry a lot.  Its so annoying!"  

I'm gearing up for back to work and we have hired some part time help.  I won't go into this too much since I"m late on writing this, we have already fired her and have hired our full time nanny who is absolutely amazing.  (More on this for the 3 month update).  :)

One month old- ground zero!

We are ONE month old! :)

One Month and loving cuddle with each other

Hi :)

This week we celebrated the girls turning 1 month! In fact, June 18th, was our due date!  Developmentally, we are just hitting ground zero.  I have to be honest and say that this first month has absolutely flown by!  I really can't believe its been that long already.  I'm so excited, though, about the progress we have made, not only with the girls, but as a family.  First, let me update you on the girls.

Since the girls were born, our recurring struggles have been around feeding the girls.  I can't tell you how many times I have thought about giving up.  I've wondered if all these efforts would be in vain.  In spite of these feelings, I pushed on.  This week I started attending a breastfeeding group at Good Samaritan Hospital as well.  You basically go there, breastfeed your babies, check their weights (before and after to see how much they ate) and get help/advice from the lactation consultants.  I'm so glad that I went.  The LC (lactation consultant) showed me a new tip for latching the girls that has really worked well with Nova.  She has been the hardest to latch.  Long story short, at the group, Bria drank 1.5 oz and Nova only took .15 oz.  In all fairness, she didn't latch long and was super sleepy (oh and then she pooped through her clothes...) After coming home, I tried the new latch and got Nova to breastfeed. She did great!  A few days later, I had both girls breastfeeding at the same time.  Bria has progressed to the point where she can breastfeed several times through the day and gets enough that she does NOT need a bottle after.  Nova still has a weak suck and needs a bottle of pumped breast milk after every feeding, although the amount is becoming less.  The good news is that they are starting to breastfeed.  The bad news is that I still have to pump until BOTH girls are capable 100% of the time.  If I haven't mentioned it, I HATE PUMPING!!!

Breastfeeding Bria while bottle feeding Nova - It's not always pretty!

Let's talk about the BIG BROTHER!!  My not so little man is an amazing big brother and he takes this roll very seriously.  He's always telling people about HIS sisters and loves to help.  When he wants to help he will ask, "can I do a big brother job?"  Big brother jobs include throwing away diapers, fetching blankets, replacing a fallen binky into mouth, bouncing a bouncy seat, etc.  He is always happy to help and so proud of himself for taking care of his sisters.  It's amazing to see the way he loves them so much already.  Ryder has also been known to help me pump.  That's right, he will assemble the pieces and loves to push the buttons for me.  One of my favorite things Ryder has started doing is coming in while I'm pumping, crawling into a chair and says, "Mommy, can I talk to you?"  Usually he wants me to tell him about fire trucks and smoke detectors!  And I'm happy to have the company.  When Ryder gets home from school the first thing he does is wash his hands and come running to see his sisters.  Its the same thing when he wakes up too!  Its such an amazing feeling to see the way he loves his sisters!  Love it!

Proud Big Brother with his sisters :)

Ryder said he needed to pump really bad for his babies!

Joe and I are also doing well and settling into a routine.  But as is true with babies, just when we think we have it all figured out, they go and change on us.  UGH!  But, we are getting through day by day.  We really couldn't have done it without all the help of family and friends.  We have had countless meals delivered by countless people.  My family has come out to stay with us and hold babies, clean our house, and make us meals.  We truly appreciate everyone that has landed a hand!  That old saying is true, "It takes a village..." and we are sure grateful that the "village" has been around to help us!

2 generations of sisters :)

Part of our village ;) 

3 Weeks and surviving....

How did we survive 3 weeks with twins?  Honestly, I have no idea!  Its really all just a big blur at this point.  The only thing I know for certain is we did it.  We are doing it.

This week was our first week with house guests.  My dad and step mom came for a week long visit to help with the girls.  I must say that they did an enormous amount of cleaning, cooking, and holding babies!  It was nice to have a couple extra sets of hands around here.  The babies were very excited to meet their Grandpa and Grandma.  

We turned a corner this week with feeding the girls.  On Friday, last week I visited a lactation consultant.  I must say it was the best $150 I've ever spent.  Pat, my newest advocate in feeding our girls, is a grandmother to twin girls who were born at 34 weeks.  With her guidance, her daughter successfully 100% breastfed their twins by 8 weeks!  My hope and faith is instantly renewed.  She is a sweet lady with a natural mothering instinct.  Upon meeting her, we sat down and she instantly had me believing we could do this again.  We could breastfeed our babies.  We could be successful.  We spent the first 20 minutes talking about the girls, their birth, and their feeding history.  She explained to me that everything we were experiencing was normal and to be expected with 36 week babies.  I found this a little frustrating and couldn't help but think, "Why didn't anyone tell me this is what we would be facing?"  The type A personality in me, would have researched it, read about it, and could have convinced myself that I could control this too. (I would be horribly wrong, but it still would have been nice to know.)

Anyways, after she took my history and we talked she took Bria out of the stroller.  She was so sweet with her.  She gently woke her up and got her to open her eyes and look around.  She undressed her and weighed her.  I sat patiently in the rocker as Pat placed Bria on the scale.  She explained to me that she would weigh Bria before and after the feed to see exactly if and how much she was taking.  She brought Bria to me and she began to show me a new way to latch her.  After 5 or 6 attempts, Bria was latched and sucking.  Pat, took time to show me the difference between good active sucking and lazing around.  Bria was capable of good active sucking but she fell right to sleep.  After about 20 minutes, Nova began to wake up.  I think she smelled the boob milk and wanted a turn, too!   Pat took Bria and weighed her.  I sat there holding my breath to hear how much she drank.... NOTHING!  What?  Talk about discouraging.  I could feel the tears of defeat welling up in my eyes.  Pat tuned into my feelings of defeat instantly and reminded me that this is all very much normal for this gestation. Pat said, don't worry, let's give Nova  a try.  After she weighed her, she placed Nova on my lap and we began to latch her.  After about 12 attempts, Nova was finally latched and latched GOOD!  This was a big milestone for us because Nova rarely latches for me. She was sucking but very lazy and weak sucks.  We tried tickling her jaw, undressing her, and rubbing her belly and sides but nothing would wake her.  Each attempt to wake her yielded us a scowl and a few baby sucks that did nothing.  As Nova stayed latched, we chatted about the strategy, what to expect, and how to manage it all around the clock.  As we were talking, Bria began to fuss.   Pat grabbed her and put her on the boob.  Bria latched instantly and began to suck.  I looked down and my jaw dropped to see both of my babies actually breastfeeding.  It worked great because Bria was able to help Nova.  Since Nova has such a weak suck, when Bria would suck and cause a let down, Nova would also benefit.  It was amazing.  I couldn't believe it.  I smiled at Pat and thought, "she is the boob whisperer".  I chuckled to myself.  

After about 20 minutes of the girls breastfeeding it was time to weigh them.  I was so nervous since Bria got a big fat ZERO the first time.  She weighed Nova and she had taken a little over a half ounce!  OH MY GOODNESS... My littlest baby IS a GENIUS!  She learned to breastfeed!  I was doing a mental victory dance.  Next up was Bria.  I help my breath as she placed Bria on the scale.  I couldn't see the numbers when Pat said, "Did you bring a bottle for her?"  I felt defeated and said, "yes?"  Pat replied, "Well, you don't need it!  Bria took 2 ounces!!"  I couldn't believe it.  Instantly, I had tears rolling down my face.  My little Bria Belle had just successfully done her first FULL feed from the breast.  It was a victory.  I knew then that my girls were capable of breastfeeding.  We could do this!  They could do this!  Pat, the boob whisperer, was helping us make it possible!  I left our meeting feeling renewed, hopeful, and anxious to share the great news with Joe!  

Our new schedule with the girls would have me practicing breastfeeding them 2 x's a day each and only during the day time.  Nights are for sleeping and pumping!  She also told me we need to protect our feeding time.  It's not a time for visitors or guests.  It's a time for focused practice.  First thing I did when I got home was set up a new feeding area in the house.  I had Joe move the glider upstairs. I packed a shelf with water bottles and snacks.  I brought in a blanket, burp rags, and my pillows.  I felt ready for the new schedule.  Over the week, the girls were doing great.  I was getting the girls to breastfeed.  Bria really took to it and we are now skipping bottles once or twice a day.   Nova continues to struggle and toward the end of the week, started to pick it up.  It''s definitely a 2 steps forward one step back type of process.  But we just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  And over time, we begin to see progress. So for now, I'm still trying in hopes of soon finding success.

Here's a couple pics from our 3rd week of life:

The first two weeks- The Feeding Frenzy

June 7, 2012

I cannot believe the girls have been with us for two weeks now!  I’m absolutely amazed.  I must admit that these last two weeks have been somewhat of a blur for us.  But when I look back at where we started, I realize we have made HUGE strides in these two weeks.  In fact, I really wanted to update after one week, but such is the life with twins, I’ve had no time.

When the girls were first born, I was given the opportunity to begin breastfeeding in the recovery room.  I was so happy when Bria latched on right away.  I thought for sure that was the start of our breastfeeding relationship.  When I was moved to my “real” room, I tried to nurse Nova.  She also latched right on but didn’t do any sucking.  We continued to offer the breast to the girls and sometimes they would latch and other times they wouldn’t.  But one thing was a constant, we never had any sucking or swallowing.  Our nurses explained that preterm babies haven’t had the chance inside the womb to learn how to suck or swallow.  We would now be charged with that task.  We continued to try at the breast and see if they would get it… When we hit the 6 hour mark, I asked for a pump and I began my new relationship with the dreaded pump.  I began pumping each breast for 20 minutes every 2-3 hours.  It was tedious work to produce a whopping 1-2cc of colostrum.  After I had the colostrum we would divide it in two.  We sucked it up into a syringe and we began to syringe feed the girls.  This was the most exhaustive and tedius thing I’ve ever had to do.  We would put the syringe near their mouth to see if they would suck… nothing.   We would squirt a little colostrum into their mouth to see if they would swallow… nothing.  How do you teach a 36 week preemie how to swallow?  I was so confused and was beginning to feel so defeated.  We continued to try and with no luck.   The girls were weighed and both had lost significant amounts of weight.  Nova had lost 8% and Bria had already lost 12%.  There was no time to mess around anymore.  We had to add formula into the equation.  As much as I really did NOT want to go down the formula road with the girls, I didn’t want to starve them either.  I was so worried that this decision would be the end of our breastfeeding dreams. 

25 minutes worth of pumping just to get this

  

Soon enough, the pediatrician that was on call, showed up for a visit. Luckily, he had a lot of experience and showed us how to properly teach them how to learn to suck and swallow.  Once you fill your syringe, you place your pinky inside the girls mouth and massage their tongue down (they both have a habit of keeping their tongues at the roof of their mouths, which makes it impossible for them to swallow).  After you get the tongue down, you put the syringe in the mouth and begin to massage the roof of their mouth with your pinky.  This causes the suck reflex to start.  And sure enough, it worked.  Whenever they would suck, we would squirt a little milk from the syringe into their mouth and they would swallow!  I couldn’t believe it, they were swallowing!!!  Minor Victory #1.

The beginning of syringe feeding

Syringe feeding taking its toll on this momma

Nova working on the syringe

I continued to pump every 2-3 hours, every time we fed them.  We would start with the colostrum and then we’d give them formula.  Little by little, their weights were starting to go up!  And little by little, my colostrum began to come in abundance.  By day two, my milk was completely in.  Not only was it in, but it was in with large quantities.  And just like that formula was a thing of the past.  Minor Victory #2.

WOOT WOOT, the milk is in!

Once we arrived home, we continued with the syringe feeding for the first 2 nights.  It would take us just shy of 2 hours to feed both girls this way and then I had to pump afterwards.  So, we would get an hour break and we’d have to do it all over again.  After those 2 nights, we realized we’d never be able to keep that up and we needed to switch the girls to bottles.  We made the switch and it cut the feed time in half!  Minor Victory # 3.

Double bottle feeding

All during this, we continued to work on breastfeeding.  Both girls have started latching and actually nursing.  I wish I could say that we have some regularity to this but we don’t.  The girls are still so sleepy.  They are only awake for about 30 minutes of each day.  They also have a hard time maintaining their body temperature.  Because of this, they are burning more calories and weight loss is a concern.  Luckily, we have had 2 weight checks in these two weeks and it IS going up.  However, it is not going up as quickly as it should.  It’s such a fine line to work on breastfeeding with babies who have weight and body temperature issues.  They need to sleep.  They need to be warm.  In order to feed them, we need to wake them and undress them.  I spoke with a lactation consultant who specializes in preterm twins and she was very encouraging.  She told me not to give up.  We are meeting tomorrow for her to help me with the girls.  She is creating a schedule for us that will help us navigate the waters of feeding the twins with the emphasis to get them breastfeeding as close to 100% as possible.  It’s been a long and hard two weeks but I’m determined to make this work.  And if it doesn’t work, I’ll at least have the peace of mind to know that we did EVERYTHING in our power to try and breastfeed the girls.  

My first time tandem feeding...

Nova under the heater to up her temperature

Nova's first bath

Bria mid burp

Bria in deep thought

Bria after her bath

Clean babies

Welcome home girls!

Our welcome home committee

our house at feeding time

Big brother helping feed his sister

Big Brother holding his sisters

Daddy sleeping with the girls

Sweet little Bria Belle

Happy Birthday Nova & Bria

I can’t believe the girls have been with us a whole week already!  I’ve been wanting to write out the story of the day they were born but needless to say, I’ve been VERY busy!  I’m finding a quiet moment to reflect and share the day that our beautiful girls were born. 

On Weds, May 23^rd, we took Ryder to school and said our good byes to him.  I was feeling emotional as I gave him one last hug as my “baby”.  I walked out the door of his class with tears welling up, knowing that would be the last time he would be my only child.  Joe and I held hands the whole way to the car.  It was cute.  I felt like I was in high school again, minus the big pregnant belly part. 

After we dropped Ryder, we drove straight to Good Samaritan Hospital.  I was scheduled to check in at 9:30am.  After we parked and unloaded our luggage, we walked hand in hand through the double doors.  We were like giddy school girls smiling ear to ear.  Everyone we came in contact with Congratulated us or flashed us an excited smile.  We were smiling on the outside but we were both a ball of nerves on the inside. 

Last belly picture- 36w2

We checked into Labor & Delivery and got set up on the monitors.  Immediately, I began to get nervous.  I said to Joe, “I really wish there was a way for YOU to do the surgery, It’s not fair!”  He held my hand and assured me everything would be okay.  Just then my nurse came in and introduced herself.  She explained what was going to be happening and said she’d be starting my IV.  This was the first time I wasn’t nervous about an IV.  I had been given so many lately that I thought it would be cake.  She puts the needle in and I yelp!  OUCH!  That really hurt.  She responds, “I’m so sorry, I missed your vein.”  I looked down and see that I have blood EVERYWHERE!   Of course in my mind, I decided this was a bad sign of things to come for the day.  I said, “if I bled this bad for an IV, how bad do you think I’ll bleed on the table?” 

Dealing with that IV

My pouty face after the botched IV

Re-doing the IV

At 11:00am, I became extremely emotional.  I was trying to focus on the fact that I would be meeting our girls within 30 minutes, but I was overtaken with fear and what if’s.  What if the spinal doesn’t work? What if the girls aren’t healthy?  What if I die on the table?  What if…. The tears began to fall.   I don’t want to have surgery.  I feel like I’m on the top of the big hill of a roller coaster and we are about to go down… but I want OFF.  It’s too late.  Katie showed up to offer support.  She’s such an amazing friend.  She asks, “how are you feeling?”  I snap back, “I don’t want to talk about it!”  And just then the tears came pouring down my face and I began to sob.  All the emotions of the journey that led us to this moment were running through my head.  I couldn’t help but think of the baby we lost and how that baby brought us to these two beautiful  girls that were about to come into the world.  I took a few minutes and just reflected and silently prayed for the best. 

When my doctor arrived, he assured me all would be okay and that he would be with me every step of the way.  As he was talking to me, a nurse began to put my hair net on and Joe began to suit up.  It was happening.  Before I knew it, Dr Rosenberg said it was time to go.  He asked, “Are you ready?  This is it, the moment we have been preparing for, you are going to do great and you will be meeting your girls shortly.”  He gave me a hug and said that I had handled the pregnancy beautifully and now it was time to meet our girls.   Joe and I hugged and kissed.  He told me I would be okay and he’d be with me soon.  I walked out of that room and into the OR with my doctor and my nurse on each side of me, and tears rolling down my face. 

Kiss for luck!

cuddling before our babies are born

The long walk to surgery...

When I entered the OR, I was surprised at how small the room was.  It was so cold.  There were a lot of people just looking at me like I was the main event.  My doctor told me who everyone was and what their job was.  The anesthesiologist helped me get onto the table and they began to prep my back.  This was the moment I had been dreading more than anything else.  Dr. Rosenberg stood in front of me and rubbed my shoulders.  He talked to me and reminded me how far we’d come and how amazing it would be to be holding these girls.  The anesthesiologist said she was ready to begin.  The first stick was a numbing medicine.  It burned but it was tolerable.  She asked me to push my back into her hand and slowly the needle went in.  “OMG,, OUCH”  And I kicked my doctor.  “it hurts so bad.”  My doctor asks, “what hurts?”  Me:  “My leg”.  Dr asks, “what does it feel like?”  Me: “I don’t know just pain it hurts, please make it stop.”  Dr. “You have to try to describe it”  Me: “It feels like lightning going down my leg”  The anesthesiologist says we hit a nerve and we have to do it again.  She pulled the needle out and I continue to breathe deep.  In my mind I just keep repeating, “It’s for Nova & Bria”  I tried to keep my mind on other things.  The second attempt went in and it was just as painful.  I was beginning to breathe hard.  The anesthesiologist says, “the needle isn’t long enough for her anatomy.  I need a bigger needle.”  I’m pretty sure I dropped the f bomb and said, “please tell me your kidding?”  Dr. Rosenberg continued to talk to me and assured me that I could get through this.   We began the 3^rd attempt at the injection and again, I felt that lightning go shooting down my leg.  Again, my leg jerked and I kicked my doctor.  At this point, I was trying so hard to focus on my breathing.  I was trying to think of other things and my doctor says, “look at me.” I look up and he says, “Beth, you have to slow your breathing down, you are almost hyperventilating.  You can do this, You will get through this. “  The fourth attempt at the spinal was also an epic failure.  I began to worry, “what if they can’t get it in?  How will we get these babies out?”  ON the 5^th try, it was perfect.  I knew instantly she got it in right.  There was no pain.  My butt began to go numb.  I was so thankful it was over.  They laid me down on the table and began to set up the blue sheet.  I could hear nurses in the background counting instruments and prepping for surgery.  I asked, “When can Joe come in?”  Dr Rosenberg says, “he’s on  his way”.  Just a minute later I tilted my head back and saw Joe come through the doors.  Instantly, tears began to fall.  Joe wiped my tears and said, “it’s ok.  You are doing great.  We are about to meet our girls.”  I began to tell Joe about the spinal and he said, “I know, they told me.  You are doing great.  Just think the girls will be out in 8 minutes!”  Dr Rosenberg asks, “Beth how are you feeling, do you feel anything?”  I said, “No.”  He told me that they had begun. 

I was really grateful that I couldn’t feel ANYTHING this time.  I felt so much more with the c-section with Ryder.  This was so different.  Joe and I talked and waited and tried to just keep ourselves occupied for those 8 minutes.  I must have asked a dozen times if they were almost ready to be born.  Finally, the doctor says, I just broke your bag of waters.  Oh, I can see Baby A’s head and she’s about to be born.  Just then, he says, “Congratulations, she’s a girl.”  I listen and hear nothing.  Of course, I ask, “Why isn’t she crying?  Is she okay?”  They tell me to look to my right and I see this purple tiny little peanut go flying by.  Doctor Rosenberg says, “Beth, you are doing great.  Baby A looked great and they will give you a report shortly.  Are you ready for Baby B?”  He then announced that Baby B flipped and was going to be delivered feet first.  And then he says, “Congratulations, Baby B is out!”  And that’s when I heard Bria begin to cry.  She sounded like a little puppy dog wimpering.  I looked over to my right and watched as she was taken to the NICU nurses for evaluation.  Joe and I kissed and I said, “Go, Go with the girls…”  I layed there wondering how my girls were, if they were okay, and when I would hear something.  Finally, I asked Dr Rosenberg, “Are they okay?”  He said, “If there was anything wrong they would have told you by now, they are probably cleaning them and getting ready to bring them in.”  Physically, my body felt amazing.  I felt lighter.  The pressure and the pain was gone.  Emotionally, I was still so afraid.  That’s when I saw the doors open and Joe came in with a baby in his arms.  The nurse was  behind him with another baby in her arms.  Joe was smiling ear to ear.  “They are perfect!”  Joe said!  The nurse added, “apgars are 9/9.  Congratulations! “  They brought each baby to my head so I could see them and give them a kiss.  They were beautiful!  I was so proud, so in awe, and so grateful to have them here and healthy! 

Baby A, Nova Nicole, was born at 11:59 am weighing 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches long.  Baby B, Bria Belle, was born at 12:00 pm weighing 6lbs 5 oz and 18 inches long.   As soon as they finished stitching me up, they wheeled me off into recovery and I was FINALLY reunited with my husband and our babies.  They asked if I wanted to breastfeed and I said yes.  Immediately, they took Bria and put her on my breast.  She latched right away.  She wasn’t able to stay latched and she didn’t know how to suck, but it was the start and it was promising.  Next, they gave me Nova and she also latched but it was much shorter and much weaker than Bria’s.  But again, a great sign that both girls latched and were interested.  We hung out in recovery and oohed and awed over our babies for the next 2 hours.  I was chopping at the bit to get to my room so I could really see my girls and hold them both together.

Fresh

Nova Nicole 5lbs 14 oz

Bria Belle 6lbs 5 oz

Fresh from the oven

Just back from surgery

First attempt at breastfeeding in recovery room

Hanging out in the recovery room

Our baby girls- Bria & Nova

Proud Daddy and his girls

So excited to be holding both girls for the first time

Finally, I was taken to my room and transferred to a new bed.  Finally, both girls were placed in my arms.  Both my arms and heart were overflowing as I looked down and saw two precious, beautiful, and peaceful little girls.  I smiled ear to ear as tears rolled down my cheeks, I whispered,

“Happy Birthday my sweet loves”

Mommy and her babies!

Our family<3

The nurses made Ryder a "big brother" bracelet to match Mommy & Daddy